How do you conceptualize your fetish?

marmot · Post by **marmot** » Wed Nov 10, 2010 10:49 pm

Hello fellow shoe fanatics!

This is my first post after years of following this forum. It’s taken a break up from a well heeled woman, a couple months of daily checking of posts, some self psychoanalysis, and a bottle of wine. If you are willing, take a couple minutes, read this and any following posts, and put in your two cents (I think we all could especially benefit from a female’s perspective). PLEASE TRY TO REFRAIN FROM ANY VOCIFEROUS ARGUMENTS WHICH JUST DILUTES THE CONVERSATION!

Why do we have such a fixation upon feet and shoes?

Now I am a mid twenties, white, middle class, educated male, I am a deviant, a rationalist, an evolutionist, and someone who wants to understand why I feel the way I do with regards to everything. Perhaps, you can identify to some degree. I’ve had a generalized foot fetish since puberty, which has only intensified over time. I’ve had one significant (4 yrs) partner who I confided fantasies too and whom got/indulged me. But I’ve always wondered, what an odd (irrational?) thing to be sexually attracted to a woman’s footwear (for me, designer heels and snow boots! haha!). Why???

I’ve come up with two possible logical explanations which I think could provide insight.

1. Psychoanalysis (Freudian)
From a young age, I was a beta male; someone who wasn’t aggressive, wasn’t very confident, and certainly didn’t approach girls. As a result, I think most my formative interactions with attractive girls resulted in awkward embarrassment which meant I was literally staring at the ground, at my feet, at her feet… I think this transference of sexual objectification from an early age resulted in a permanent association with being sexually stimulated and focusing upon a girl’s shoes and feet.

2. Evolutionary Psychology (Post-Freudian)
The only reason we feel sexual urges is a result of the biological need to reproduce. Now foot/shoe fetishes are incredibly prevalent, perhaps this isn’t just a result of some cultural fascination, but actually has a biological basis. One of the most significant evolutionary deviations that Homo sapiens took from our great ape ancestors was bipedalism, the ability to exclusively walk on two feet. I think it is a conceivable possibility, that as a result of natural selection pressure for bipedalism, our species has psychologically become preoccupied with feet, via the preference for walking upright, as an effective expression of desirable genes. Thus feet and shoes have become a biological trait of virility.

These two concepts are ways by which I understand, intellectualize, and accept my own proclivities. I am curious what do you guys think of these two possible explanations? Have you’ve ever tried to flesh out and understanding why you are attracted to a partners feet and shoes? Please use this thread respectfully to contribute to a gestalt insight. Thank you all for taking the time and thoughtfully contributing. The floor is yours…

in2shoes · Post by **in2shoes** » Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:07 am

without going into pages of "ideas" I will throw in just ONE twopenneth.

We spend a very great part of our EARLY formative years crawling around the floor (foot level!).we are bombarded with images of our primary carers, usually female at least was in my case, feet shoes etc ( hate using terms like primary carer....too distant too clinical) and I think we attatch great importance to these items and people...ok so why doesn't everyone have the fetish ?...possibly some of us spent MORE time with shoes/feet and the scent of them etc than others. For the purpose of this theory it could well be that there is a saturation point beyond which forms the link between sexualality and the footwear. Also to further bolster my hypothesis (if thats what this is) Foot and shoe fetishism is prevelent amongst Homosexuals too which could be explained by male primary carers!............food for thought

epilogue
They do say understanding a problem is halfway to being cured..........I don't thiink I want too much understanding because I would HATE to be cured of my fetish !!!

bwclassics · Post by **bwclassics** » Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:32 am

in2shoes · Post by **in2shoes** » Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:56 am

there are probably as many reasons as there are variations of the fetish !

(do you get the feeling we are writing this guys thesis LOL)

flats_et_heels_lover · Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:08 am

I disagree with both.

Firstly freudianism has been debunked to death. judging by the variety in personality/upbringing in fetishists, and my own personal experience, it has very little to do with family or personality.

Secondly, Its doubtful that shoe fetish genes have been selected for, since, A) there is no definite evolutionary advantage
B) the prominence of shoe/foot fetishism hasn't been around long enough to take effect, and C) Fetishes are developmental, not genetic.

Now using modern theory of the brain, you can break it down fairly easily. shoe fetishist sees shoe, shoe fetishist is turned on, maybe wants to have sex with shoe. Now the standard shoe cumming thing, probably arises from the fact that shoes relate to women. notice how most guys go for feminine shoes. Also, shoes go hand in hand with feet, so shoe fetishism is partially a subdivision of foot fetishism.

Now Why do men prefer shoes instead of say dresses, pants? my opinion, is that shoes are more personified than any other garmet, allowing the brain to form sexual connections. Sexual drive is all about interpersonal connection, due to the evolutionary will to mate, hence most guys like women. shoes have a certain complexity to them, many details, and can convey certain moods, and are shaped in a very organic way (they are extensions of the female foot). whereas clothing is almost two dimensional, an extension of the skin, relatively plain,with no definite shape. So the key here is form and complexity, which shoes have, and clothing doesn't.

And the last question is, "If shoes relate to feet and to women, in a way that can be percieved sexually, why do only some people have it?" the thing is some people have their brains wired so that sensory input of shoes activates the areas of the brain that associate with sexual excitement, in the way that most people feel about boobs. Breasts, and other parts of the female body naturally have this sexual connection, due to evolution. some men have heels as a part of this group of turn ons, because at somepoint in their sexual development, they discovered that shoes could fulfill their sexual needs.

I remember that point. when I was discovering masterbation at a young age, I rubbed my penis on various things, in my reach were a pair of my female cousins flip flops. and so I associated the good feelings with sandals. that's how the connection formed in my brain.

That said, I'm fairly confident, that shoe fetishism is purely inadvertaintly conditioned. i.e. if a young child discovers sexual excitement with shoes, he is likely to form that bond.

feetboy95 · Post by **feetboy95** » Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:18 am

Shoeslayer · Post by **Shoeslayer** » Thu Nov 11, 2010 6:36 am

Greetings all,
Shoeslayer here, Could it be that when you are in love with a woman perhaps married
and tho you did not have these feelings in the beginning of the relationship they came later?
I personally feel that when you start to really love a woman her possessions take on an "eroticness"
also consider when your buddy got a new car he asks,"is'nt SHE a beauty" same for a boat? as the car or boat
is something he can get into like he gets into a woman.

I for 1 have no trouble saying I have a few fetishes, girdles and brassieres and yeah womens reading glasses
I know the latter is probably quite different but over at the "Erotic readers and writers association there is a fairly
large majority who like women in reading glasses and yes heelz too Oh i 4got heelz are a biggie 4 me blackpatent
mostly.

When my wife went to see friends years ago the house was rather lonely and whilst looking for a book I saw her black
patent sweetwalkers and they looked fetching. Honestly those 2 gurls had gotten into my head an later due to missing
my wife i took them an buffed'em up with a flannel shirt. while doing this I got very much aroused an the feeling was
rather "bittersweet" as I would say. sweet cuz i felt "doing a heel" could be nice but bitter cuz I thought it a very weird
thing to do as I never had that feeling b4. Later when she needed reading glasses, ( she liked the gold 1/2round )
which hung from a chain of pearls an I tell ya they looked very feminine this is now a fetish. What I am saying is
in your everyday life when so many things r on the burner ( your mind ) it's like one day you notice something your
lady is wearing an it turns you on big tyme and I guess as it happened to me we start to wonder what said item could
be like if used in a sexual manner. quite often between her 1/2glasses an heelz I had a gr8 time and one day I got
just ballsy ( lots of nerve ) to tell my wife what these items did for me. ( seems she knew cuz they were not always
where she left them ) and she was kind of happy her things meant so much to me and we started to use them as
foreplay and as Paul Harvey said, thats the rest o' the story

schoolies · Post by **schoolies** » Thu Nov 11, 2010 7:30 am

Long story short, my fetish started when I was a baby. A woman used to let me sleep on her boots, hold my hands and put her boots between my legs and swing me up. My parents told me that I always followed women in black boots since that. It phased away til I was about 10.

flats_et_heels_lover · Tue Nov 16, 2010 1:42 am

Sort of related to the topic, but I hate how ppl think that the fetish normally involves extremely high heels.
Most guys I know are into regular street ware, not 7 in heels.
Also ppl fail to realize that all fetishists aren't perverts or in need of psychiatric help. there is nothing dangerous about the matter

shoddy90 · Post by **shoddy90** » Mon Oct 08, 2018 1:05 pm

Not sure I understand the question, what is there to conceptualise?

Shoesession

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